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Swings, Carriers, and Sleeping Babies
Dear Dr. Markel,
My daughter, age 9 months sleeps in her swing in our bedroom. My
son, age 3 sleeps in the king bed with me. We chose to set it up
that way after my second child came so my son would not feel left
out. It has worked out very well for us. I will allow it to remain
this way until he feels he is ready to move back in his room(within
reason...No teenagers in me bed, thanks:)). I love having that
closeness to my kids, and clearly they enjoy being near me. A fact
that warms my heart. The problem is that my daughter won't sleep
anywhere but in my Ergo, which I'm smitten with, and her swing.
The swing doesn't even need to be rocking. She just loves being
enclosed(we have a car seat cover over the swing). However, she is
getting to large for her swing. I'm afraid she may fall out or
otherwise hurt herself. I thought about more blankets in her crib,
but I'm afraid that this may pose a suffication risk. My doctor
said just let her scream in the crib. I'm not okay with that. My
daughter has a right to feel safe and loved and while I can help
her feel that way I will. I was hoping you had some advice to help
keep her happy and feeling safe and allow to be removed from a
swing she is clearly outgrowing.
Thank you for your kind attention and being an advocate for attachment parenting.
Dear Mia,
I commend you for being sensitive to your children’s needs, the essence of attachment parenting. Your daughter feels safe when she is enveloped. Babies commonly sleep in the Ergo, where she is in a correct position for hip and back development, and where she is close to your heart and body. Prolonged periods of time in the swing, however, are not advantageous, and it is just as well that your daughter is outgrowing this, so that you can consider other possibilities. In the swing, the child is held in one position without freedom of movement due to the rigidity of the underlying plastic. If, in fact, your baby has been in the swing for extended periods and seems to prefer that, she might well have developed some inflexibility wherein her body is out of alignment.
I can suggest alternatives to the swing: perhaps you can research ways of fashioning a hammock using a 10 foot long fabric knotted across both ends of the crib. That would allow for more movement, yet she would be enveloped in something soft.
Another possibility is to bring your baby into the family bed, a solution that is common in most of the world.
Finally, I would urge you to find another pediatrician, as one who suggests that you let your baby scream lacks empathy for both you and your baby.
I invite you to visit my website to receive advice and to support you in your commitment to create a better world for the next generation.
Susan Markel, M.D.
“peaceful parenting for a peaceful world”
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Dr. Susan Markel, MD, is a Board Certified Pediatrician, and Attachment Parenting Advisor. She is also the author of, "Ask The Doctor," in partnership with ERGObaby.
If you have additional questions, please feel free to visit her website at http://www.AttachmentParentingDoctor.com and request a private consultation.
categories
Attachment Parenting , Sleep
I've seen a bed called the Amby bed. It's a hammock like bed that you can move from room to room. I think they can sleep in it until 30 pounds or so. Check it out. It may work for you. You could also put your mattress on the floor and put the toddler mattress beside yours. Then you'll be able to have your 2 yr old beside you and your littlest one can sleep with you as well. Then when you and the toddler are ready you can just move the toddler mattress little by little. I agree with you about the cry it out thing. How horrible! That's not my style either. You absolutely need another pediatrician. If you go to Mothering.com and check out your region you can probably find an AP friendly pediatrician. I hope this helps.