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Quick transition to sleeping alone?
Dear Dr. Merkel,
Our son has slept with us since birth. He is almost 10 months now. Although this has worked well for us, and we have so enjoyed his time with us, it has become more of a challenge lately. We feel it is time for him to spend at least part of the night in his crib. How can we make this happen when crying it out is not an option, and we only have a few weeks to makes this happen.
Our son has slept with us since birth. He is almost 10 months now. Although this has worked well for us, and we have so enjoyed his time with us, it has become more of a challenge lately. We feel it is time for him to spend at least part of the night in his crib. How can we make this happen when crying it out is not an option, and we only have a few weeks to makes this happen.
Dear Sleepy,
To ease the transition, you can encourage your baby to become attached to a "transitional object"-- such as a soft toy or blanket, specially used to provide comfort or solace. Your son eventually will associate the transitional object with the comforting attention of his parents. Separation is less difficult for a child who can hold on to an inanimate object, something which is carried everywhere and which the child comes to love. The transitional object is important at the time of going to sleep and as a defense against anxiety.
Attachment to the transitional object could happen quite organically when your son shows an affinity for a particular object, or it may be encouraged by you by consistently offering a particular toy or blanket at bedtime and any time that that your son does not feel safe.
If you would like to encourage a transitional object
The transitional object should be offered consistently at all times whenever the baby is:
Some babies maintain this attachment through the preschool years and beyond. There is no predetermined time for abandonment of a transitional object. It will be put aside when your child is ready. Most children outgrow the need, and use it less and less over time.
To ease the transition, you can encourage your baby to become attached to a "transitional object"-- such as a soft toy or blanket, specially used to provide comfort or solace. Your son eventually will associate the transitional object with the comforting attention of his parents. Separation is less difficult for a child who can hold on to an inanimate object, something which is carried everywhere and which the child comes to love. The transitional object is important at the time of going to sleep and as a defense against anxiety.
Attachment to the transitional object could happen quite organically when your son shows an affinity for a particular object, or it may be encouraged by you by consistently offering a particular toy or blanket at bedtime and any time that that your son does not feel safe.
If you would like to encourage a transitional object
The transitional object should be offered consistently at all times whenever the baby is:
- learning to sleep alone or without breastfeeding during the night
- in an unfamiliar place
- is sad, lonely or hurt
- is afraid, upset or stressed
Some babies maintain this attachment through the preschool years and beyond. There is no predetermined time for abandonment of a transitional object. It will be put aside when your child is ready. Most children outgrow the need, and use it less and less over time.
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