Sleep

Dear Dr. Merkel,

Our son has slept with us since birth. He is almost 10 months now. Although this has worked well for us, and we have so enjoyed his time with us, it has become more of a challenge lately. We feel it is time for him to spend at least part of the night in his crib. How can we make this happen when crying it out is not an option, and we only have a few weeks to makes this happen.

Hello Dr. Markel,

My question to you is with regards to bed-sharing and my 2 and a half year old daughter.

Our daughter up until the age of 9months was sleeping with us in bed. However, around that time, once I weaned her form night time feedings, she began to sleep in her own bed/room after we implemented the techniques of "good night sleep tight". Personally, I was very exhausted, our daughter was not getting much sleep with us and we felt it was best for all of us.

She was sleeping much better up until the last several months. Our travel schedule has picked up quite a bit (every month or two). Therefore, she is usually sharing a bed with us while we are on our trips. upon our return home, she starts off the night in her own bed, but makes her way over either after a couple hours of sleep in her room, or sometimes after almost 3/4 a nights sleep.

However, now I am 5 months pregnant. Our daughter is a very very active sleeper (she takes the bed 360 several times a night:)) and both father and I are taller people (our queen size bed is starting to feel like a very small double). I'll often wake up with scratches on my face, elbow in my eye, foot in my stomach and that's after I have personally waken up 4 to 5 times throughout the night due to the activity of our daughter.

I am torn, I really am. I am sleep deprived, but at the same time, I just dont have the energy to sleep trian my daughter again according to the sleep tight rules. I dont know if this is normal, if I should just deal with it and eventually she'll grow out of it, or if we should be trying to implement some type of rule? We have tried bringing in a mattress in the bedroom and having her sleep on it, as opposed to sleeping with us in the bed, that has failed on many accounts!

I would appreciate any advice/recommendations you can give and would love to hear some words of encouragment:)

Thank you for your time,

Sincerely,
Exhausted Mommy

Dr. Merkel,

I have been reading attachment parenting books and my husband seems to disagree with the issue of co- sleeping with my son who is 8 weeks. He says that if we get him used to our bed, we will never be able to go out in the evening again because we will be attached to the bed with our son. Do you have any suggestions to his question?

Dr. Merkel,

Our family is now using a family bed and my son seems to really enjoy nursing to sleep. I love it but I am a bit concerned that I will be the only one who can parent him to sleep. Is this a major concern???

Thank You.

Dear Dr. Markel,
My baby is 22 months now and is still breastfeeding. I thought he would stop on his own but he refuses to stop and doesn't really like milk and worst with soy. He also still feeds at night. He sleeps in our bed so when he wakes he wants to feed. I've tried not giving it to him but he cries and cries and I'm already sleep-deprived to I give up. Any advice?

Dear Dr. Markel,
My 16-month-old son is still not sleeping through the night.  I've established a bedtime routine, which we follow each night even  if it's off by a minute or two, and it's helped with bedtime, but not with his sleeping. He gets up 2-6 times each night, and while he doesn't night-nurse anymore, he still wants to be held and/or
rocked.  And if that doesn't work, he wants to sleep with me. He's such a restless sleeper that I don't get any more sleep than I do when he sleeps in his crib.

I feel like I'm losing my mind because I'm so sleep-deprived, but nothing has worked. I'm dead set against the Let-them-cry method, not only because we have a common wall with our neighbors, but because that's just not the kind of parent I aspire to be. On the flip side, I'M EXHAUSTED and don't know what else to do, especially since he consistently naps for a couple hours each day.

I even tried a homeopath when my son was around 9 months old, but his remedies didn't make a difference.

Is there a such thing as a pediatric sleep specialist? Would we benefit from seeking and consulting one? I live in the San Francisco area and am open to new ideas.

Dear Dr. Markel,
Our 2-month old baby boy sleeps wonderfully in the ERGO for naps, and for that we are grateful! He also sleeps well at night all swaddled in the co-sleeper next to our bed (or sometimes in our bed). However, if we try to put him down for a nap during the day in the co-sleeper, his crib (which we haven't really transitioned him to yet) in his room or in our bed, he won't have it. It happens on rare occasions, but usually involves an hour or more of soothing before he'll nap there. How do we get him to nap in these other places when we can't carry him all day?
-Ali

Dear Dr. Markel,

We adopted a wonderful 9 month baby girl from China in June and our adjustment period was very stressful. After a couple of months she was able to sleep through the night in her crib. For some reason there was a setback that started a few weeks ago. She now refuses to go to bed (both for a nap and at night)and she wakes up several times in the middle of the night crying. She did have an ear infection which was immediately treated but this behavior has not changed. As a result, she is cranky and whiny during the day. I would appreciate any feedback.

Thank you,
Sue
San Diego

Dear Dr. Markel,
I love being a mother, even when I was sick during my pregnancy.  We were in and out of the hospital at least once per month for the whole nine months. I love that she sleeps close to me in her bassinet,  but she will be six month old on September 10th. She wakes from her sleep a couple times in the middle of the night and I feed her. Then I put her back in the bed until at least 5 am. The problem is that we would like to have her start sleeping in  her crib in her room.  I don't want to go backwards were she is sleeping in our bed every night.  How do you suggest we move forward with this transition, so it is smooth for me and her.Thank you and look forward to her from you.

Dear Dr. Markel,
My daughter, age 9 months sleeps in her swing in our bedroom. My son, age 3 sleeps in the king bed with me. We chose to set it up that way after my second child came so my son would not feel left out. It has worked out very well for us. I will allow it to remain this way until he feels he is ready to move back in his room(within reason...No teenagers in me bed, thanks:)). I love having that closeness to my kids, and clearly they enjoy being near me. A fact that warms my heart. The problem is that my daughter won't sleep anywhere but in my Ergo, which I'm smitten with, and her swing. The swing doesn't even need to be rocking. She just loves being enclosed(we have a car seat cover over the swing). However, she is getting to large for her swing. I'm afraid she may fall out or otherwise hurt herself. I thought about more blankets in her crib, but I'm afraid that this may pose a suffication risk. My doctor said just let her scream in the crib. I'm not okay with that. My daughter has a right to feel safe and loved and while I can help her feel that way I will. I was hoping you had some advice to help keep her happy and feeling safe and allow to be removed from a swing she is clearly outgrowing.

Thank you for your kind attention and being an advocate for attachment parenting.