Resources

What's life in a baby stroller like?: The impact of stroller orientation on parent-infant interaction and infant stress

09-02-16t:02:z

A recently published study suggests that babies riding in outward-facing strollers are significantly less likely to laugh, "talk", and positively interact with their caregivers than those in strollers facing the pusher. The study was conducted by Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, Developmental Psychologist at Dundee University's School of Psychology. Zeedyk asserts that the emotional isolation and poor verbal interaction experienced by babies in outward-facing strollers carries serious, negative implications for babies' brain development.

Click here for a summary of the study:
http://www.dundee.ac.uk/pressreleases/2008/prnov08/babybuggies.htm

The study, in its entirety, can be found here:
http://www.literacytrust.org.uk/talktoyourbaby/Buggy_research.pdf

Bed-sharing, co-sleeping, or separate sleeping?

08-12-10t:12:z

Recently, there has become a clear distinction between co-sleeping and what experts now refer to as bed-sharing. In order to decide what is best for your family, it is important to know the difference.

According to Attachment Parenting International (API), the definitions are as follows:

"Co-sleeping refers to sleeping in 'close proximity', which means the child is on a separate sleep surface in the same room as the parents."

"Bed-sharing, also called the 'family bed', describes a sleep arrangement where the family members sleep on the same surface."

]]> While new parents may feel pressured to have their baby "sleep through the night", this scenario describes a myth. Frequent waking occurs for myriad reasons, and throughout most of the phases of a baby's growth and development into childhood. Most parents find it less disruptive to sleep in close proximity to the baby, to accommodate for nighttime feeding and other needs with minimal interruption. In fact, babies often settle back into a deep sleep very easily with a quick feeding and comforting snuggle from a parent. Some parents are encouraged to let the baby "cry it out", believing that this will teach the baby to self-soothe and eventually train him to sleep on his own. However, according to a recent article published on API's website:

"New research suggests that these techniques can have detrimental physiological effects on the baby by increasing the stress hormone cortisol in the brain, with potential long term effects to emotional regulation, sleep patterns and behavior."

Indeed, proponents of attachment parenting agree that sleeping with a child close is preferable to separating for the night. But bed-sharing has recently come under attack as numerous "studies" have claimed to show a link between bed-sharing and infant death. A closer look at the studies conducted, and the groups sponsoring them, reveals a more complicated picture.

According to Dr. Sears, one campaign to encourage crib sleeping is sponsored by the Juvenile Products Manufacturing Association (JPMA); an association of crib manufacturers. This obviously reflects a conflict of interest that cannot be overlooked. In fact, Sears, a widely respected doctor, child-rearing guru, and father, reports that approximately 2,600 cases of SIDS occurred each year in 1999, 2000, and 2001. An additional 180 cases of non-SIDS related infant deaths occurred in an adult bed during those same three years (possibly attributable to suffocation, smothering, and entrapment in furniture or bedding; and a figure meant to discourage bed-sharing). Thus, the number of accidental deaths in an adult bed was only 1.5% of the total cases of SIDS; certainly a figure not significant enough to demand the avid anti-bed-sharing campaign launched by the JPMA and others.

Practicing safe bed-sharing, however, means abiding by certain guidelines:

Avoid excessive alcohol intake or drug use while bed-sharing.
Since mothers are usually more in tune with the baby and less likely to roll onto him, the baby should sleep next to his mother rather than between parents.
Put the baby to sleep on his back.
Keep the baby away from the edge of the bed.

When reasonable precautions are taken, bed-sharing is a safe, nurturing, and widely-practiced sleeping choice. A nearby parent is far more likely to be alerted to any changes in the baby's sleep; including choking, gasping, coughing, and crying, than a parent in another room. In fact, according to a comprehensive article published in Mothering Magazine in 2002, in which worldwide studies and results were considered; "Research shows that infants who sleep in a crib are twice as likely to suffer a sleep related fatality (including SIDS) than infants who sleep in bed with their parents. " (Dr. Sears)

Consider the following facts when choosing a sleep method for your family:

95 % of the world sleeps with their baby. In countries where co-sleeping nearly universal, such as Hong Kong and Japan, SIDS rates are among the lowest on record.
Co-sleeping babies cry less and sleep more.
Infants who sleep with their parents under reasonable, safe conditions; either bed-sharing or co-sleeping; have higher survival rates.
(Sleeping With Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to CoSleeping; James J. McKenna; 2007)
Both babies and mothers sleep better when bed-sharing, as they synchronize their sleep and wake patterns and drift between cycles with minimal interruption.
(Dr. Sears, www.askdr.sears.com/html/10/T130400.asp)
Bed-sharing encourages and facilitates breastfeeding, which is proven to be best for baby's health.

Bed-sharing and co-sleeping are natural, healthy, and safe choices for parents and their baby. Sleeping in close proximity to the baby is a natural way to promote nurturing and bonding, ensure quality sleep, and build a solid foundation of trust and confidence between parents and their baby. When done properly, bed-sharing is safer than leaving the baby alone, and encourages healthy breastfeeding, breathing, and sleep patterns for babies.

Nurturing our Children; Nurturing the Earth

08-12-10t:12:z

by Hannah Sullivan

...I once told a group of environmental activists, "You can save a forest today, but if we don't raise children consciously, it will be cut down tomorrow." From this perspective we see that the well being of children sits at the root of every endeavour. With out happy, healthy children, we have no forest, no peace, and no world.

A powerful body of research grounded in the fields of neuroscience, psychology, biology and genetics points us towards the importance of the early years and how bonding, or the lack of it, dictates a child's sense of his relationship to the world and himself. We as parents literally have in our hands, the ability to create a violent culture or a peaceful one.

]]> (* Ecologist and Editor of Kindred magazine, one of the world's most endorsed parenting journals, Kali Wendorf is a passionate advocate of social change; particularly as it relates to the role of parents in our society. She feels that any movement to address any of our society's woes, including climate change or environmental degradation, is pointless unless the importance of bonding between the child and parents is addressed and acknowledged in public policy: "Because sustainability begins at conception." She lives in Mullumbimby, Australia with her family.)

Kindred Magazine, Vol. 9 March, 2004
"Our Child, Not Mine Ending the parent blame-game"

The above excerpt illustrates perfectly the relationship between "parenting" the earth and parenting our children. The two are inseparable: our future rests in the hands of the children we raise, the values we impart on them, and the way they learn to perceive their relationship with the planet. The survival of our planet is determined by how we choose to raise our children!

In order to change the destructive path we are currently on; pollution, nuclear waste, endless drilling for more oil, overpopulation, poverty, imminent extinction of many of our species; we need to cherish our young, nurture and help them maintain their connection to humanity, and ultimately, to the planet.

A child cannot care for others if she is not cared for first. She cannot nurture another without being nurtured herself. Children who mature without these basic needs become adults incapable of giving unconditional love, support, and sympathy. According to Abraham Maslow, a widely respected humanistic psychologist, a person's basic needs must be met in order for him to progress to the next level of needs, and then to the next; ultimately becoming a conscious and fully self-actualized individual. These five levels of needs, portrayed in the pyramid below, progress from the most basic - Physiological, as in the need for oxygen, food, and water - to the most advanced - the Need for Self-Actualization, or the desire to achieve what we were "born to do".

MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS

According to this hierarchy, a child without adequate nourishment cannot strive for affection and a sense of belonging; he is physiologically stuck in the first level of development. A child who never received consistent love is incapable of striving for self-respect and the respect of others, as these needs rely first on the ability to give and receive love. Maslow further proposes that self-actualized, conscious people are naturally connected to the planet, have the capacity to be concerned with global issues, and can appreciate the beauty in nature and in living.

If this theory holds true, as evidence seems to indicate, proponents of Attachment Parenting are making invaluable strides to improve the future of our planet. And, as Wendorf asserts in the opening article, if bonding in the early years "dictates a child's sense of his relationship to the world and himself", then babywearing is critical, in the development of both strong individuals and ultimately, a peaceful, harmonious world.

How does babywearing benefit both parents and babies, and, ultimately, the planet?

Enables parent to attend to baby's needs on demand, while continuing to accomplish daily tasks

A baby whose needs are consistently met - who has relaxed and positive parents who understand him - learns that he can rely on people. He learns that he has a voice. He learns that he can try new things, since he will be supported as he stumbles along on his quest for independence. This early parental safety net builds trust, confidence, and empathy.

Soothes fussy babies, encouraging calm and relaxed parent-baby interactions

New parents often feel overwhelmed by the primal nature of their baby's demands. A crying infant is an enormous source of stress to the whole family! According to a study by Hunziker and Barr of Canada's McGill University, mothers who were asked to carry their 3-week old infants for at least 3 hours each day for a total of 3 months had infants who cried 43% less than babies in the control group. In the notoriously challenging early evening hours, their babies cried 51% less frequently!

Facilitates parental understanding of baby's cues

Consider this excerpt from "Ten Reasons to Wear Your Baby"; www.naturalchild.com:

The more confidence we have in our parenting, the more we can relax and enjoy our children. A large part of feeling confident as a parent is the ability to read our baby's cues successfully. When we hold our baby close in a sling, we become finely attuned to his gestures and facial expressions. Many baby-wearing parents report that they have never learned to distinguish their baby's cries - because their babies are able to communicate effectively without crying! Every time a baby is able to let us know that she is hungry, bored or wet without having to cry, her trust in us is increased, her learning is enhanced, and our own confidence is reinforced. This cycle of positive interaction enhances the mutual attachment between parent and child, and makes life more enjoyable for everyone.

Allows babies to learn appropriate social responses to a variety of circumstances, based on parents' reactions

When an infant is "worn" by his caregiver, he is held at adults' eye level, and is thus automatically included in everything the caregiver does. This inclusion allows the baby to share experiences with the adults, from a safe and comfortable vantage point. According to Sharon Reuven at www.earthbabies.co.za:

While the wearer makes lunch, visits with friends, shops for groceries, or walks on the beach or in an art gallery, baby is able to absorb the most from each experience. This contrasts with babies who are set down in the corner of the room away from all the action. Babies who are worn also become very socially attuned, as they are exposed up-close to the language and social environment they will soon become a part of. Most parents want to give their children a head start in life in any way they can. Baby wearing is a natural way to provide a safe but stimulating environment for their baby, with this early exposure to active life providing a context for learning and for later participation.

All of the above benefits of babywearing: consistent response to the baby's needs; smoother parent-baby interactions; ability to read the baby's cues and anticipate his needs; and inclusion of the baby in parent's daily social interactions; contribute to an infant's sense of trust, confidence, and security. A confident baby who receives consistent, unconditional love and whose needs are respected and met is able to become a caring, considerate, and independent member of society.

Mothers have nurtured, protected, and carried their babies for thousands of years. But, as humans continue to evolve and Western cultures' ideals change, we are moving further away from this natural state of intuitive parenting. Community support of mothers has waned, forcing parents to rely on others to supplement their child-rearing so that mothers can continue to feel valued by society. In his article "The Natural Child Project", James Kimmel, Ph. D., states;

Ninety-nine percent of all humans who have ever lived were hunter-gatherers (Nanda). Studies of hunter-gatherer societies readily confirm the respect given, and the support provided, by the group to a mother nurturing a baby. Since ancient times, however, continuing until the present, there has been a concerted effort in Western civilization to eliminate the necessity for the natural mother to nurture her newborn. Mothers in many cultures and at various times have been encouraged to suppress their tender feelings toward their babies, discouraged from nurturing them in the biological human way, and to give over their baby's care to others. The wet nurse and baby bottle attest to these historical facts. Both of these cultural methods of providing infants with sustenance have - to our misfortune - succeeded in achieving their goal of eliminating the necessity for the natural mother to have to care for her baby. They have dramatically changed the biological conditions for human reproduction, the way new human life develops and, perhaps, the human species itself.

This change, asserts Kimmel, results from the transformation of child-rearing from an instinctive, hormonal, and reflexive one, to a conscious process; one that is increasingly influenced by culture rather than by intuition and nature. "Babies are no longer cared for in ways that fit them, but in ways that fit their society", he says. "Consciousness is a two-edged sword. From cultural conditioning, we can believe, for example, that biological mothering is unimportant, unnecessary, and an unfair and burdensome intrusion on mother's lives, or that too much nurturing 'spoils' babies and is harmful to their development..." We now know that the opposite is true. When deprived of nurturing, caring human touch, almost 100 percent of orphans in the early twentieth century died. Even when provided with adequate caloric intake, infants who are denied human touch often still fail to grow and thrive, according to an article by Dr. Sharon Heller, Ph.D ("The Vital Touch: How Intimate Contact With Your Baby Leads to Happier, Healthier Development"). In fact, James Prescott, a neuropsychologist with the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, concluded, after reviewing forty-nine societies and their propensities for violence, that the main cause of human violence is "a lack of...touching and stroking during the formative periods of life."

The solution is clear. We need to return to our natural, biological, and instinctive way of parenting. Babies are born utterly dependant, unable to eat, speak, or move without assistance. They are also emotionally dependent on their parents to affirm their existence, to regulate their emotional responses, and to model appropriate love and attachment. It is in the consistency of this relationship that babies learn to feel safe, to trust others, and ultimately, to trust themselves and become independent and self-assured. This autonomy, security, and confidence enables babies to grow into children and adults who can afford to look beyond themselves and their own needs. A person who is loved can give love; a person who is supported can assist others. These are the people we need - loved, supported, nurtured, independent - to care for our planet and our future.

Jet With Kids

08-12-10t:12:z

Anya Clowers is a registered nurse, author of Jet With Kids, travel expert, consultant, world-traveler, and mother. She has combined her many areas of expertise to facilitate traveling for families with children, covering both practical and medical aspects.

In addition to her numerous world travels, Anya also travels for business purposes, attending medical conferences and trade shows, interviewing experts and manufacturers in various fields, speaking to niche groups, and judging events (i.e., JPMA awards). She also responds to media queries and contributes to various blogs, sharing her knowledge and helping parents and grandparents navigate the ever-stressful terrain of traveling with children.

Visit Jet with Kids here:
www.jetwithkids.com

And find her popular chapter on flying with unrestrained "lap children" here:
http://www.jetwithkids.com/book_freeChapter.html

5 Steps to World Peace: Women's Wisdom that can Change the World

08-10-29t:10:z

Have you ever wished for world peace, but feel it is something only possible in fairy tales? What if there was a scientifically proven plan for achieving world peace, would you be interested?

Anthropologist Zoe Weston has finally compiled 17 years of research into a simple easy to read guide book - 5 Steps to World Peace: Women's Wisdom that can Change the World. Anyone serious about wanting a more peaceful world will want to read this!
]]>
Keeping this in mind, Zoe's plan highlights peaceful conditioning methods, starting in the womb of a peaceful mother. Children birthed, raised and educated in a peaceful way have a higher chance of becoming peaceful adults.

Continuum Concept

07-02-16t:02:z

www.continuum-concept.org

The aim of the Continuum Concept, shaped by Jean Leidloff, is to raise well-integrated children who have strong self-preservation instincts and the ability to peacefully discern and articulate their needs. Leidloff observed the peaceful ways of the children while living with Stone Age Indians in South America, and has enlightened us with an alternative to the Western way of raising children through discipline, doting and parental absence in the guise of child independence. Leidloff advises keeping your child on your body at all times during the infant stages, including sleeping with your children, allowing them to have their own experiences through self-exploration, and not reacting adversely to your child's actions, but instead remaining neutral.

]]> Our story:
When I was pregnant two unrelated friends recommended I read Jean Leidloff's book The Continuum Concept. I was enthralled with the concept and the idea of being able to raise a calm, self-assured, cooperative child. As soon as I read the book I knew that raising my child in-arms, breast feeding on call, and sleeping in a family bed was the way I wanted to usher my child into the world. So many people commented on, as a baby, how calm, happy and quiet our baby was. He never cried because he always had his needs met. Being so close to my baby, I always knew what he needed at any given moment. It made being a new parent fun and easy. A group of parents in our area joined together on a regular basis to discuss, learn and understand more about the 'concept'. The biggest challenge we all seem to have had was figuring out how to adapt the Indian's tribal way of living to our fast-paced, individualistic, industrialized society. My conclusion is, you have to take the parts of this concepts that makes sense to you and weave them into the way of life that you know and with which you are comfortable.

Attachment Parenting

07-02-16t:02:z

Peaceful Parenting for a Peaceful World

www.attachmentparenting.org

Attachment Parenting is a philosophy based on the practice of nurturing parenting methods that create strong emotional bonds, also known as 'secure attachment', between the infant and parent(s). This style of parenting encourages responsiveness to the infant or child's emotional needs, and develops trust that their emotional needs will be met. As a result, this strong attachment helps the child develop secure, empathic, peaceful, and enduring relationships.

]]> Our story:
My husband and I agreed from the very beginning of Keala Kaj's life that sleeping with him felt so right. Our son never cried for the first two weeks of his life because his needs were always met and the trust we are building has never been severed. Without having a name for it at the time, we were instinctively following the philosophy of Attachment Parenting. For us it is about building the trust, confidence and bond that our child needs to know beyond a doubt that we love him unconditionally. We are committed to being as spiritually and physically present with our child as we can possibly be. Attachment Parenting provides us with a definition for our philosophy, support when we need it, guidelines when we feel lost and a group of like minded parents to turn to when we need insight. Now at the age of two years old, Keala Kaj is a very happy individual.

Cord Blood Registry

07-02-16t:02:z

A Once-in-a-Lifetime Opportunity - Only at Birth

www.cordblood.com

This web site has a tremendous amount of information about cord blood stem cells, why they are important to our body's defenses, how they are collected, when they are frozen and how and when they can be used in the future to correct potential problems. The cord blood is extracted from the umbilical cord and placenta just after delivery, preferably while the cord is still pulsing. The cord blood contains special stem cells, building blocks of the blood and immune system and are genetically unique to each family. Collecting and freezing your newborn's cord blood is a kind of safeguard and can potentially save his or her life one day. Siblings have up to 50 % chance of being able to use the stem cells as well.

]]> Our story:
A couple of weeks before the birth of our son my husband mentioned he had heard about some program that stored stem cells retrieved from the umbilical cord. Then at my baby shower (which turned out to be 5 days before the birth) I received the magazine Baby Talk which I was leafing through and came across an advertisement from the above company. We called the company right away. Over night, they sent their packet which we passed on to our midwife not knowing that night we would be needing it. The difficulty in our case was, when Keala Kaj's head come out the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and had stopped pulsing. He was pulled out immediately and given a few breaths of life. We then tried extracting blood from the cord and placenta but only got a third of what they normally recommend. We decided to go ahead and freeze the 26,000,000 stem cells we extracted as opposed to the 500,000,000 stem cells they normally freeze, because we were assured that this number would still be helpful.

Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson

07-02-16t:02:z

www.empoweringpeople.com and www.positivediscipline.com

Jane Nelsen wishes to change our perception of discipline to a more positive, affirming way of interacting with our children (or students - she does a lot of classroom training too). Rather than punishing a child for doing 'bad', it's the parent's responsibility to realize the deeper reason for the child's 'mis' behavior and communicate with the child as an equal. She also emphasizes fostering a connection between the child, their family and their community, giving younger members a voice to have meaningful input so they feel useful and develop a sense of belonging. This concept picks up where the Continuum Concept leaves off, around age two.

]]> Our story:
Four months ago I took one of Jane Nelsen's day long workshops and found the information very helpful. Our son has just turned two years old and even prior to that I was already using positive discipline 'time-out'; according to Jane Nelsen and experienced a wonderfully positive response from my child. Jane Nelsen's 'time-out' is quite different than the one we have heard so much about from child psychologists in the last ten years. She suggests creating a supportive, welcoming space where our children can go when they feel the need to misbehave. It is a place where they can take a step back from life and the need to respond, a place where they can find their center and inner calm. Then they are replenished and equipped to join the tribe again. She also offers many other suggestions on ways to respond positively to your child's misbehaviors. We have obviously just started on this path but I feel very fortunate to have been introduced to this positive way of disciplining.

The two books that were recommended to us, of the many that Jane Nelsen has written, are Positive Time-Out and Positive Discipline A-Z.

Sign with Your Baby

07-02-16t:02:z

www.sign2me.com

This expansive website details the importance of allowing your infant early communication through sign language. Children can begin signing as early as 6-7 months, and through using physical gesticulations they learn to integrate audio, visual and kinesthetic learning. In addition, Joseph Garcia states that sign language provides a multitude of benefits, including "... reduced frustration for parent and child, a stronger parent-child bond, and accelerated verbal-language development."

Research has shown that when you sign with your baby before verbal language begins your
child will:

Be less frustrated
Actually speak earlier
Have a higher IQ
Develop a larger vocabulary
Show enhanced self-esteem
Become a better reader

]]> Our story:
At around age six months, my husband and I started signing with our son Keala Kaj. We introduced three signs of words we frequently used: 'more', 'eat' and 'toilet'. A couple of weeks later we added to his vocabulary 'drink', 'nursing', and 'gentle'. By about eight months of age Keala Kaj started signing his first word, more'. It was an incredible moment when he was able to communicate what he wanted! Soon to follow, he signed dog, eat and drink. He also quickly caught on to the sign for happy. I love that one. It also happened to be his first spoken word. He definitely is a happy baby! Our experiences of signing with our baby were tremendous and I highly recommend everybody opening the door of communication with their baby in this way. It has been a very rewarding experience for us.

Elimination Communication

07-02-15t:02:z

Informational web sites:
www.timl.com/tt/

chat group/forum:
www.egroups.com/group/eliminationcommunication

This concept advocates that diapers are not necessary in raising infants, and helps to tune parents in to their child's intuitive signals when they need to eliminate. A normal, healthy infant is indeed aware of their bodily function of elimination and can learn to communicate from infancy so parents can respond. By using diapers, we condition and thereby train our babies to go in them. Later the child must unlearn this training. This can be a confusing and a traumatic experience for the child.

]]> Our story:
We started potty training our son from the age of three months. We were able to get poops in the potty early on with very few misses (although I do have some very funny poopy stories). The peeing was much more of a challenge and sometimes it felt like it was all for naught. Finally at around 8 - 9 months he started to communicate his need to go by grabbing for his penis. Since around 14 months Keala has been completely potty trained, even through the night. The hard work finally paid off, it is so wonderful for me and I know it is positive for him too. No more diapers!! I hope you give it a try, it's so worth it. The book we used is Infant Potty Training by Laura Boucke, (White-Boucke Publishing).